To say that Covid19 disrupted my life is an understatement! It made a huge mess of all my plans, wreak havoc to my sanity, created chaos financially and I thought I cannot go back to my one and only refuge amidst uncertainties – my family.
It was in March 6 when I flew to Sydney. I remembered leaving the house very early, the sun wasn’t up yet. When On my way to my 10am flight, there was this feeling of extreme sadness. This was the first time that I will be away for a very long time, 54 days to be exact. And admittedly, I was very afraid of this virus spreading around, especially when I had to spend a 12-hour layover in Singapore (at that time had several hundreds of cases already) and then another 8 hour flight to Sydney.
You might ask why did I crazily pushed through with the trip despite the virus? One, I am by nature fatalistic. I got the round trip ticket for free (I won an online contest sponsored by Flyscoot). To my mind, the universe would not give me this opportunity if it was not meant to be? Two, hubby and I made a pact that starting 2020 we will start traveling, one country at a time. It was a conscious effort to shift and give importance to that one thing we are most passionate about – adventure! This is supposed to be a milestone year for us, and adventure number one is that land down under! Three, in March before I left, there were only 3 confirmed cases. I did not expect that it will become a global pandemic! No… As a matter fact I still believed that the hubby can still follow me in Sydney one month after. But then I was wrong. A serious health crisis was unfolding. Countries were closing boarders one after the other. And there I was, in Sydney, getting confused and longing to be home.
LOCKDOWN NUMBER 1: SYDNEY
LOCKDOWN NUMBER 1: SYDNEY
Arrived n Sydney March 6, and yes after more than 24 hours of travel, the first thing I did was to take a bath. I was so praning of the virus that even there was a risk of me falling asleep in the shower (hey I have only 30 minutes of sleep since I left Manila), I let the water wash away the fear. The biggest fear was, transmitting the virus to my family and friends in Sydney. Every single day from March 6, this is all I can think of, that it took a lot of effort to immerse myself in the sceneries and just enjoy the places we explored. A tinge of guilt in the possibility that I could be a virus spreader and harm them all.
14 days after, what a relief that as far as symptoms are concerned, I don’t have any. And just as my anxiety was starting to dwindle down, Sydney announced their lockdown restrictions. Only essential travels were allowed. Even our planned Mt. Kosciuszko trip was cancelled, including Our Tasmania escapade. The bonggang lakwatsa has now become a lockdown misery. Days of supposedly touring around has now been downgraded to Netflix bingeing and 24-7 social media monitoring of what was happening in the Philippines. Anxiety level slowly going up again, as I read news of a senator spreading a virus, VIPs getting priority testing, frontliners succumbing to the disease – heartbreaking news one after the other, when I am 3,763 miles away from my family. There is definitely a flattening of the curve - the curve of my excitement as a tourist has just plummeted down.
It also didn’t help that I got exposed on how Sydney addressed the Covid19 emergency: senior citizens given 2 shopping hours in the morning, regulating things you can buy at the grocery to discourage panic buying, to reprimanding a council representative for violating lockdown protocols, all expense paid 14-day quarantine in hotels for returning Australians, and lastly – free Covid test for ALL, with or without symptoms, of which I availed for free even though I am not an Australian. I can’t help but compare the two countries as far as addressing the pandemic. Yes, we are not a first world country… We are not that rich, but I was deeply saddened by what’s happening in the Philippines.
I tried very hard to micro-manage through FB messenger. I would regularly wake the husband daily at 10am (which was 8am Sydney time). We would discuss carefully how to do the bi-monthly market run. I would regularly ask if they had taken their vitamin C, or have they boiled the turmeric for their afternoon tea. I joined several viber groups in the village, so I can check up on supplies available for them. These things, with my "over-dosing" in vitamin C, lemon drink, sun bathing and warm water-salt gargling made me busy in Sydney.
Thankful that I had a strong family support while in Sydney. I can’t imagine what lockdown life would be for me, if this happened lets say a year ago, when I was touring Osaka alone. My Sydney fambam made me feel at home by cooking Pinoy dishes every single day, and still going out for much needed exercise, and to smell the fresh air.
To my mind, I have only but ONE GOAL – to stay healthy and to stay alive. So I can go back to my family, virus free.
By first week of April, I felt depression creeping in. Due the extension of the ECQ, my husband’s flight was cancelled, my own trip back to Manila was also cancelled. My sadness, i expressed in social media.
I don’t know when will there be a flight back so I visited daily the websites of Cebu Pacific and PAL. According to CebuPacific website, next available flight will be on May. Due to financial constraints, I decided to wait for that flight, even though the PH consul has already informed me through an email that there will be a PAL sweeper flight scheduled for April 18. I decided to pass up on that sweeper flight, and 3 days after, CebuPacific May flights disappeared! The next scheduled flight will be in June. By June 6, my tourist visa will already expired. Time is running out and I had to make a decision. Grab the next sweeper flight or wait for the cheaper CebPac flight (as of June, the next Sydney-Manila flight is on September).
I had a heart to heart talk with the husband. Because if he will make a decision, he would choose for me to stay in Sydney as long as I can , because he feels it is the safer country. I found this reasoning puzzling. When the husband finally said (exact words) “sige na mahal, uwi ka na. Masyado ka ng nalulungkot dyan” – I finally broke down. Cried buckets because I felt so relieved that I will be soon going home!
But preparing for the trip back was so STRESSFUL! To a certain point, I understood fully the husband’s apprehension why he wanted me to stay put in Sydney.
Protocols for returning tourists were unclear. Is there a mandatory 14-day quarantine? In a government facility or home quarantine? Where to secure a travel pass? I have sent lots of email and facebook inquiries on this, but no CLEAR protocol was given, and some government agencies did not care to reply.
MY FREE COVID TEST IN SYDNEY JUST A WEEK BEFORE MY FLIGHT
Because I have a clear goal – to finally go home. No one can stop me! Despite the odds, I boarded that PAL sweeper flight last April 29.
Flight was 2 hours delayed. I witnessed a heated argument between an Australian airport crew and a Filipino passenger regarding the transfer from terminal 1 to terminal 2. Sydney airport was like a ghost town, shops were closed. And I thought, what has happened to the world. During the entire 8hour flight, I wore a surgical mask on top of my n95. And yes, I had a hard time breathing. There were only 86 passengers so social distancing was practiced.
But the real ordeal happened when I touchdown terminal 2. It took us an hour before we were allowed to get off the plane. Another 2 hours of waiting, and papers to be signed. Another hour for the rapid test and results. My result was negative (I knew it would be, because the swab test in Sydney was also negative).
At last! After 4 hours, I was allowed to go out of the airport and finally go home!
LOCKDOWN NUMBER 2: QUEZON CITY
LOCKDOWN NUMBER 2: QUEZON CITY
It was surreal to see how your country is battling the pandemic, when you are actually experiencing it on a daily basis, and not from what you see in social media.
The travel from NAIA to Quezon only took us 30minutes. And I remember seeing not more than5 vehicles in the entire travel. EDSA was a ghost town. There was no traffic, but It was eerie. The abandoned street was lifeless.
Since I arrived last April 29, I still have not set foot outside of our village. We do a monthly grocery run. We do weekly Kadiwa inside the village. The husband works at home. My eldest has still a few lessons to complete online. While my youngest is busy preparing for the his online graduation.
I achieved my goal. I am finally at home. But the anxiety still exists. Worry about survival and life in the coming months occupy my thoughts.
For lockdown number 2 – a different mindset is needed.
THE BIG SHIFT
I don’t concentrate on big, longterm goals now. I live for the day. To just be thankful for the things me and my family has been blessed with. My husband has a stable job. I can also work from home. We did not have a hard time adjusting to this work from home scheme, and never felt trapped in the four walls of our house. The internet connection is stable – for work to be done and online classes to continue. Despite exposing myself in all those travels I did, I remained Covid-free, and my entire family is healthy.
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR MENTAL WELL BEING
This ride will end sooner or later, we really don’t know how long this will take, we all just have to hold on for dear life while putting your faith that the safety straps wont let you fly off.
What makes this mom move forward? The HOPE that "whatever goes up, will eventually go down". The curve will not stay up there forever. One day it will go down. Life may be a little different in the future, but this mom chooses to fight and stay positive for her family!
