Sadly, I come from a
generation wherein spanking, reprimanding by way of shouting, are accepted ways
of disciplining one’s child. A generation which always say, “Anak lang kita.
Wala kang karapatang sumagot”! My parents
have one way or another, spanked me with the “tsinelas” or with their hands...
at times, they threw things at me, during the height of their anger. I am not
saying I am a perfect child. There are times when I am mischievous, hard
headed, stubborn, and I knew I deserve some degree of disciplining. But now that I am a parent, the question pops
into my mind. Is spanking, or any form
of corporal punishment, be it physical, emotional or psychological, the ideal
way to discipline a child? The answer I learned.... is a big NO!
Teaching children and
correcting their mistakes does not mean inflicting pain. Because simply put... LOVE DOES NOT HURT.
I am equally guilty as my
parents were. A few years back, working
in TV production wherein I spent so many stressful, tiring, sleepless days at
the office, the last thing that I want to see when I get home, is a crying
toddler. Sometimes, because my body is
weak and my brain is not functioning well because of sleep deprivation, I
reacted to my crying child either by shouting, or spanking with my hands. Looking back, I knew I did poorly as a
mother.
I have tried to control my
temper as my children grew. Instead of
shouting, I tried my very best to talk to them in a calm way. I tried not to meet their outbursts head on.
Now my children are in
their teens already. If I have the
chance to travel back in time and revise my parenting techniques – I would
stick to POSITIVE DISCIPLINE.
What exactly is POSITIVE
DISCIPLINE? It is a non violent,
rights-based approach in teaching and disciplining children. It recognizes the child’s evolving capacities
to understand, learn and define his/her character and personality and promotes
respect for the child’s dignity and individuality. It also recognizes the importance of the
participation of the child in the discipline process, guiding him/her towards
proper values and behavior in the long run.
Grounded on love and
respect and devoid of any form of violence, POSITIVE DISCIPLINE teaches and
guides children through their growing up years while recognizing that they, too
have rights – to survival, development, protection and participation. As children live through various development
stages, they develop self-esteem, self-respect, self-discipline,
responsibility, appropriate thinking and behavior. It is the primary responsibility of parents
and adults to discipline and guide them towards distinguishing right from
wrong.
POSITIVE DISCIPLINE does
not begin only when children do wrong, rather, it is integrated in everyday
communication between the adult and the child.
It is not an easy task for parents, but it must be done. Because if you start it late in your child’s
life, it is more difficult to instill.
PETA ARTS (Advocate Right
to Safety) Zone Project for Children is an advocacy campaign that champions
children’s rights. It promotes a culture of respect for the dignity of children
and upholds their right to protection from all forms of violence. This is done
through art and creative interventions.
ARTS Zone Project for Children also emphasizes the child’s participation
and empowerment to change his/her life for the better.
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| *Rated:PG presents practices and pre-conceptions, and encourages viewers to reflect and discuss how they raise children at home and in schools. The play was performed in various schools and communities. |
PETA (Philippine
Educational Theater Association) spearheads the campaign by mobilizing various
sectors, communities and organizations in harnessing arts and creativity for
children’s rights and for child protection work.
PETA ARTS Zone Project uses a
three-prong strategy with the following features: performance,
creative/integrated arts workshops and local action initiatives.
The strategy engages hundreds of
children, teachers and parents and community and faith-based organizations,
resulting to partnerships forged with schools, barangays, non-government
organizations and local government units.
Love and
affection cannot be manifested through hurt and abuse. We must not confuse
discipline with pain. As we safeguard children’s right to be protected from any
form of violence and abuse, we sum up the project’s message in a way that is
understood by all: Love does not hurt.
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| ME WITH FELLOW BLOGGERS AT THE PETA PARENTING WORKSHOP |
